My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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