his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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