I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
