I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We left the knife in your bed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
