I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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