4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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