I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize