I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
