Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
