i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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