East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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