Where did you get a picture of my penis
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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