I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like eating out sand paper
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
