I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize