I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
