Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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