It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
