I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
