Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
