super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
