I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
