I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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