my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
