I'm gonna have a badass scar
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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