omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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