Semen is not good for contacts.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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