Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want nice things and good sex
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