i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
