the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
