Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
