Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
