belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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