True but thats because hes a fetus.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
