READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
