It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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