i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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