# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
