Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
