Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
