Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
