so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
