I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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