omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
