but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
