I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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