the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if only i could text you this smell
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
