We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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