I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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