i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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