i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
