I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
God, I missed his penis.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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