This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
