the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's the barista slut.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
