Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
