he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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