just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
