I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
