that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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