I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
