love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
