my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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