i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
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he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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