can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
