don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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